Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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