using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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