i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
