you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize