S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
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A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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