Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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