I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
