Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
