can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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