I must be too annoying 4 u.
one two three fourrrrnication!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
