i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I see more hoeing in ur future
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