If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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