I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
