She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
wow bdsm is so cute
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
