Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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