just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
