Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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