After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
