Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
