The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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