Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
