If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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