DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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