lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
