It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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