margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
