yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
