I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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