So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
