thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
