everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
