using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
this will be a night to untag.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
