She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
