she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
