i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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