i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize