Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think my moral compass just broke
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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