I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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