North Korea, Best Korea!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
