on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
