so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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