God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
