Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize