Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
