I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize