the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
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My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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