The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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