Don't you send me to vm
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
