Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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