glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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