FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
