return my video game
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
