The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
