Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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