I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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