I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
