beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
