Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
