it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize