She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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