I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
my poor anus
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
