idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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