i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
