I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
